Dear Turf Wife: What No One Tells You About This Life

If you’re a turf wife… welcome home 💜I write the things we’re all thinking but don’t say out loud 😌

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And fair warning… it only gets worse from here 😂

Dear Turf Wife,

Have you ever been somewhere and had an “ah ha” moment about your life? A moment where you wish you could go back and coach your younger self with the guidance you have now?

Oh, the things I would tell her. The love I would give her. The guidance I would lead her with.

I’d tell her to take that trip (even if it meant eating ramen noodles for a month).

Buy those shoes (quality over quantity).

And that boy who grows grass you happen to meet at work?

RUN. Don’t make eye contact… just RUN.

(Okay, I’m only kidding 🤣)

As a very seasoned veteran of the “turf lifestyle,” I’ve been through just about every scenario and circumstance with my grass grower. Some have been amazing, some have been completely gut-wrenching…

But all of these bumps, curves, and potholes have taught me one thing:

How to press on and be strong.

My only regret?

Not fully understanding what being married to a Golf Course Superintendent actually meant.

They don’t come with a handbook.

No instructions. No cliff notes explaining how to survive this industry.

Can you imagine how helpful that would be?

How much time and sanity a Turf Wife could save? 😆

I’m an open book when it comes to this life, and if I could give any advice to someone thinking about going down this road…

This is what I’d tell you.

Because the truth is…

There are two versions of this life.

And both will humble you real quick!

Assistant Superintendent Turf Wife

He has no name for himself yet. He’s still proving himself.

Which means:

He will work more than you think he needs to

He’s responsible for more than he’s paid for

He will work every weekend, holiday… all of it

He will be the first one to clock in and probably the last one to clock out

You will probably hate his Superintendent at some point.

Why?

Because he’s too hard on him.

Because he’s never home.

Because it feels like he comes before everything.

But learn to respect that man.

He can make or break your life.

Now the fun stuff!

Let’s just get this out of the way:

YOU WILL BE PUT ON THE BACK BURNER.

It doesn’t matter how much you fight it.

When he is home:

he’ll be sleeping

in a bad mood

or on the phone

Sorry… that’s just how it goes.

When HE thinks he’s ready for his own course…

He’s not.

It doesn’t happen overnight.

He still has to earn it.

The industry decides when he’s ready—not you, not him.

You will move. A lot.

Get used to explaining that to your family.

New places mean new opportunities…

and new friends for you.

And always remember:

He DOES love you.

But the course comes first.

He’s building something for your future.

So find strength in yourself.

Be independent.

Have your own thing going on.

Superintendent Turf Wife

Now he has made a name for himself.

But in his mind?

 IT’S NEVER ENOUGH!!!

There’s always:

a better course

a bigger opportunity

a dream job still ahead

He will still work too much.

And still not get paid nearly enough.

You’ll have a love/hate relationship with his career, his course, and his assistants.

They can make or break your life.

Learn to handle the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And hey…

at least now you can diagnose turf problems in your own yard 🤣

And just in case you thought things changed…

YOU ARE STILL ON THE BACK BURNER!!!!

Grass before Arse 😉😆

But now, you have a family too.

So YOU become:

-The queen of your house

-The one holding everything together

-The one making it all work

Praise him when he’s home.

Complain about him when he’s not 😆

And for the love of God…

listen to his stories.

Sometimes… they actually help.

By now, you’ve moved more times than you can count.

Save your boxes. Better yet, invest in plastic bins.

NEVER GET COMFORTABLE!!

You can blink and be moving again.

But also…

Cherish the relationships you’ve built along the way.

Those women?

-They will mean everything to you!!!!

When he has a problem…

It becomes YOUR problem.

His happiness depends on:

-Green speeds

-Root depth

-Blade height

-Sharp reels

-The weather

He’s in a constant battle with dirt, grass, pleasing members, and the weather!

And even when you want to lose your mind…

Hug him instead.

Because the stress he carries?

IT’S REAL!!!!

And always remember:

HE DOES LOVE YOU!!!

But the course will ALWAYS come first.

So be strong. Be independent.

And always keep:

🍺 cold beer for him

🍷 expensive wine for yourself 😆

💜 In Closing…

(Thank God, right? 🤣)

Love your life.

Embrace it.

Never regret your choices.

THIS IS A LIFESTYLE

There is no perfect way to handle it.

No right or wrong way to survive it.

You just…

 Keep on keeping on.

And somehow…

YOU make it work!!!!

And guess what?

 YOU ARE A TURF WIFE!!!!

You’ve got this 💜

P.S. NO… WE STILL DON’T KNOW TIGER WOODS!!! 🤣

#TillTurfDoUsPart

If this hit a little too close to home… share it with another turf wife 😏

Or drop your story below — I might turn it into my next post 👀